Look at my Assos!

 

This is a review for Assos women's bike shorts, not just an excuse to parade my ass on my blog. It's actually not the most flattering pic of my butt...although it adds padding to my now flat booty.

Shawda swears by these. She would rave and rave about them. But $200+ on one pair of bike shorts??

All women go through the cycling phases of bike shorts:

Phase 1: Beginning cyclist - what I have to wear those things? I'm gonna look fat! Everyone will see my thighs and butt!

You get over that and get into

Phase 2: Beginner cyclist, but grateful to have bike shorts now that you are doing 20-30 mile rides

Phase 3: Start doing 40-50 mile rides: discover chamois butter - hallelujah!

Phase 4: Start doing 60+ mile rides: it's not the ass that hurts, but the...uh..lady lumps, koochie, va-jay-jay, etc....medically referred to as the pudenda.

Phase 5. Century rides: I can't have sex after this distance.

Phase 6: fuck, I'm spending $200 on bike shorts. 

I guess I've spent around $80-90 on most bike shorts, which when I started this I thought was very expensive. I got them from Mellow Johnny's - had to order them special because of sizing. I felt like a yuppie cycling poser (you know, more money than skills). But gave them a whirl last weekend.

I don't know if it's the chamois configuration, the material, or the high-tech Swiss testing technology - but these work! Good thing because I was more focused on climbing hills and not bonking rather than my nether regions. Don't get me wrong - I love my Sugoi shorts and they work great with plenty of lube, but honestly all shorts about the 80 mile mark started to feel uncomfortable. Not these Assos! I used chamois butter, but might not even need that. Thigh grippers felt comfy, not tight. Waist was comfortable (didn't have one of those stupid stringy belt things which I always just pull out anyway.) My booty looks better in the Sugoi shorts, but hey, it ain't a fashion show.

Yeah, so I approve and recommend them. No, I am not getting a cut or discount (but if any industry people out there are reading this....)

Comments

[Shawnda Freeman]

See, I told you. Best shorts ever. I would by these over and over again.

Glad I made the blog!

[paulette]

damn. I say get some advertisement dollars to fund your expensive bike short habit.

[greyhound]

I always thought this brand name was kinda funny given the part of the anatomy in which they specialize. Especially Assos cream. ewww.

[Yvonne]

Haha, thanks for the laugh (re: Phase 5) :D

I remember those phase 1 days, buying the cheapest shorts, just to get by...now I only buy Pearl Izumi...but now these Assos sound intriguing hmmmmmmmm

[Kate]

Bikes seemed crazy expensive to me...until I started dropping $100 on bike shorts (well, only once...otherwise I'm still just getting by with a couple cheaper pairs). Then a $2000 bike doesn't seem as expensive. Beyond my reach, yes. But not outrageous.

[Jessica, an Austin Triathlete]

i finally got a $75 of pearl's for free recently...i don't have a problem with cheap shorts...but i can definetely admit there is a difference in shorts after about 4 hours....i'll try those someday. dare to dream...i really want bib shorts!