I could write a race report like Hemingway - succinct, simple, eloquent, heavy with meaning:
Many swimmers plunged in the water. I swam, biked, ran. The day was long. I ate delicious gu.
But you have me - I'll try to keep it between the Clif notes version and War and Peace. I hate long race reports.
Pre-race:
1. Kathleen sent me a care package!. But I forgot the light saber in Austin. :(
2. I got a traffic ticket from the Tempe police. nice way to start the weekend.
3. Whole Foods in Tempe sucks! I couldn't find the chocolate soy milk I usually drink.
4. I forgot my heart rate strap. When I tried to buy another one, they said they could order it, but I told I sorta needed it....soon. So I had to buy a cheap new HR monitor watch.
5. My Mavic bike computer was set for 700 wheels and when I tried to reset it, it then reverted to kilometers. No one seemed to know how to adjust it, so I said fuck it and just didn't use it.
Obligatory puffy M-dot shot. Hmmm, I thought it would be bigger. (say that to men all the time)
The best group evah!
Michelle, Carrie, Catharine, Jane (the other one), Charles, Vegas, Alisa and Rhonda.
Oh yeah- at the pre-race banquet, they had a "biggest losers" contest where people had to stand and stay standing depending on how much weight they lost since training. It was down to me and another guy. We went up on stage and I met the "Voice of Ironman" Mike Reilly. The other dude lost more weight so won, ironically, a gift basket of food! But everyone said I shoulda won because a) even though he subjectively lost more weight, percentage wise, I don't know. He was like 300+ pounds prior. b) he was an athlete since high school and an Olympic swimmer for his country (don't know what country - something small and obscure). So as someone on the run course said to me "he was a just a jock who got fat!" I think my story resonated better with the audience - you know, fat kid who failed PE and couldn't run last year. Gave a shout out to Austin! So yeah, my 15 minutes of fame.
Race Day
1. Woke up at 3:30 and began eating 1000 calories as Chrissie advised. I ate 2 sandwiches and a banana.
My brother helping me set up my nutrition. Mmmmm- gu!
Lizbeth, Ms IMFL herself, that morning. I managed to get rid of the "deer in the headlights" look for this pic.
Supah-crew - now body marking. Doesn't it look like Vegas is wearing a swim cap?
2. I managed to leave my swim goggles and cap with my sister who was in a vast crowd. After having an acute hissy fit meltdown, Michelle loaned me her goggles and I got a new cap. I don't know what I would have done if I wasn't with T3!
3. So the swim is an in-water start. Everyone jumps in and treads water, although if you have a wetsuit and decent amount of body fat, you just float. I placed myself not the very back, but middle and to the left, although put my back against the pillar of the bridge, so there was no one behind me. The cannon went off - kinda anticlimactic really - and we were off! I didn't have any problem with crowding or being hit except at the turnaround and near the end.
My plan - swim from buoy to buoy and not think about anything else. It worked! The turnaround came about much faster than I thought. I think I said "woo-hoo" underwater.
Yucky thought- I peed in my wetsuit several times. I was thinking that if I'm leaving vapor trails of urine behind me, that must mean I'm swimming in others' urine as well. Nice.
I had this paranoia that I was the last swimmer and the kayaks were behind me. I swear, I hallucinated the kayaks. Much to my surprise I was not the last swimmer and actually passed some people.
1:37 swim time! I was so happy! This was much faster than I had planned. I think I anticipated a 1:40 at the fastest and expected a 2 hour swim. My sis and bro almost missed me.
I ran to the Transition tent. What's with all these people walking slowly? This is free time people! I was laughing my head off in the tent. I'm sure other racers thought I was crazy. Lizbeth helped me so much in transition. She had to, since I was giggling the whole time. I felt great.
Coming out of T1. Ach, not many bikes left. My "arm wamers" are men's socks that I cut the feet off - can throw them away on the bike course!
Bike course was really flat. Okay, not as flat as Houston, but really, really flat. I didn't really push myself. I guess I could have and had a faster bike split. Oh, I stopped at the porta-potties 5 times - guess I was well hydrated. It's neato to see pros pass you. I was passed by Chris Lieto and Joanna Zeiger - I though she had a Griffin but was on a Guru? A little bit of headwind on the way out - nothing like in April - and on the last loop, the wind died down completely. The weather was PERFECT. Course is kinda boring - wow, there's that damn cactus again.
You kinda make "friends" for the day with the people who pace the same speed as you. I rode consistently those hours with Denise and Glenn.
Everytime you came around the loop, the T3 crowd was there hooting. I though Erin was going to have an aneurysm, she was cheering so loud!
Grrr, I have to admit those last 8 miles were tough - my feet hurt so bad from being in those bike shoes! Bike split 7:23, meh.
I had a volunteer in T2 who appeared about 18 and seemed she could care less about being there. Oh well. Am I really going to run a marathon now? You don't really think about that.
Run, run, run, run some more. Or putt, putt, I just putted along. One day I hope to zip along, but for now puttering is what I do. At mile 4 my feet starting hurting and I though uh-oh because my feet usually don't start hurting until mile 18. I was carrying lots of gus but chucked them because I was so sick of Gu at that point and there is plenty at the aid stations (no beer though).
Plan was to run 5 minutes, walk 1 minute, which I did for the first loop. Then I just did whatever. I think there was 1 mile where I walked the whole thing. My split for that section was 18 minute miles! That's some slow walking! After that, I decided that walking hurt as much as running, so might as well try to "run" - aka slow death shuffle. It became cold - glad I brought the long sleeve shirt. Not a particularly scenic course - the sections passing the horse stable and portapottys were lovely.
The crazy T3 cheerleaders were well placed. Kevin, Ben and Chris at one point; Amy, Jane and Vegas in the back stretch, my sis and bro at the start of the loop and Carrie, Catherine, Rhonda and Alisa somewhere in the middle. How can you not do well with 4 separate cheering squads!
I hate running and it's my weakest thing. But you keep going - what else can you do? Not that I ever wanted to quit, but clearly during the run I thought "why the hell did I sign up for this thing" and " I signed up for Coeur d'Alene? Fuck!!" I have to admit, 3 loops does seem more difficult mentally. After the 1st loop (8.7 miles) I started the loop again, and thought - oh no TWO more of these? But you just keep going, mile to mile. At one point, I was running from light post to next post. Whatever it takes. I kept smiling, although at this point, it was not really due to happiness, but more at the realization of the ABSURDITY of this whole thing. I'm sure Camus would have had something to say about a bunch of professional adults paying loads of money to suffer like this. Then you laugh, cuz we are all idiotes.
So at the last 2 miles, this lady was running by me. She said "long day, huh?" To be honest, I thought, well, I've been on call and working 30 hours straight making life and death decisions, so this ain't so bad.
The last loop, instead of going yet again, you go left - to the finish. It was quite late and not many people left on the course, but the ones that were kept pointing out "400 meters left!", "200 meters left!", "just around the corner. So you see the chute. There were some people left in the bleachers. Oh, Catherine gave me her tinsel-y boa to wear, so I had that on. I high-fived everyone and ran giddily down the chute. Actually, I can't even remember the voice saying I was an Ironman.
I think I look pretty happy. Dwayne caught me!
Everyone was at the finish. I can't believe they stuck around until 11 pm! "What do you want," everyone said. "I need to sit down!" yeah
Some stranger gave us a bottle of bubbly, just to be nice. Actually, it was a bottle of sparkling cheap stuff, kinda of like Boone's, but the sentiment was nice.
I didn't feel too bad. I was able to walk to the car. The enormity of the race didn't hit me until last week when I was driving home for Thanksgiving and looked down at the odometer and thought "I biked longer than this!"
The day was fun, but not really hard - I've hard harder training days. Once I got out of the swim, I knew I had it. I guess mentally I was ready, so that made all the difference.
Addition: 1. Lizbeth said that 4 people at the start jumped in then jumped right out, not being able to do it. What?! At least try, at least try to swim little and grab a kayak if you need to. To have paid all that money and trained and to not even start?!
2. I could have never have done it without T3 training. Especially the swimming.
3. Many people became sick on the course. I heard that 30% of athletes ended up in the medical tent - the highest percentage ever. I wonder if something was in the water.
4. The sunscreen they slather on you works really well. I thought I'd have a sunglass tan, but didn't.
5. I should have thanked the volunteers more, especially during the run, but at times, I didn't feel too cheery. The Phoenix Tri Club had an awesome aide station.
Light saber Carrie.
Yeah, we's from Louisiana.
Er, did I really do this? wow.
